Office Space 2: The remote worker

So this tale is less exciting than the original...  but it's creepy that i'm living this one.

I've had 4-5 bosses at once, but unlike the original movie, mine all want me to do different and often opposing things.  CEO wants my work automated.  VP guy who is my top boss doesn't want me automating unless there's a dev team so we dont hit net negative productivity, but says to use someone else's code.  Competent low level manager of mine said that code wont work, and to just do what i think will work (he at least made sense). Other random person still wont let go of "scripts".  Another VP seems to think i'm part of support and do upgrades and deal with other stuff, regardless of how many times i've told him otherwise.  Server admin i report to is just happy that i make sure their stuff is not broke going out.

Pull a few 100 hour weeks in a row, and get told i shouldn't have and they were ready to take business losses instead.  Quarterly bonus only 75%.  

Spend 2 hours of my day helping get an upgrade organized because the PM is out and i get lauded with praise.

Get rewarded for helping upgrade by having someone who a month ago was trying to figure out how to reduce my workload decide to dump something on me that I really can't do, but needs removed from the people who were supposed to be assigned to help me do my work.  Circular it is.

Tell off management lots and slow work down to a crawl, and lo and behold...  it's been silence for 2 weeks now, no issues at all.

Told they are going to outsource a large percentage of my job this year talking things like "scalability".  We know what corporate key phrases in combination with outsourcing means.

There's no superman 3 scheme, but we just got a stock options plan and my initial assessment is that the only way it will succeed is if we get a ton more options, and if the company is suddenly worth 40x what it is now.

Hoping someone gets mad enough to burn the place down.  Can't do it myself, the main character doesn't go that far.  I learned last time not to return the money under the door.  But at least i don't have equipment that fails constantly that i want to destroy.  Kind of sad...  Shooting range + fax machine...  happiness...